who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
