North Korea, Best Korea!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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