Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
