Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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