is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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