you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
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