we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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