I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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