dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
