The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize