Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
