this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
