I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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