Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
