Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
