i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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