NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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