That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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