You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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