fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize