After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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