Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
