she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
