Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
