We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
