okay pat passed out under dana's car
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
