His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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