So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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