I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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