addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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