Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
