she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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