he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Found the puke drawer
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
