Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He did a backflip because drugs
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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