This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize