He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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