lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
