Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
