The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
