Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
