Rock
Scissors
Fuck
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
