This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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