i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
