I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
