He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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