We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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