I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
