shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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