I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I pour the whiskey from now on
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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