why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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