Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
love makes seman taste better
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Randomize
