There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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