this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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