its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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