weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Never joke about your clitoris.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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