well most of my day revolves around power hour
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize