someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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