Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
