Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
this boner is exhausting
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
