Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
